Who’s your bully? Most of us have one. First, let’s define it according to Google. (Sophisticated, right?! Haha)
Bully~ (noun) a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.
Have you ever considered that your bully it might not be a person? Hmmm…. think about that for a minute. Is there something in your life that controls you, intimidates you, negatively affects your mood or family dynamic? Could be a lot of things, right? Once you identify your bully, you can begin to take back your power. You (and possibly your friends and family) will be happier, more confident and better able to confront other bullies that come your way. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy or happen overnight, but a new perspective is a great start.
Today I’m sharing a recent experience with a potential client that, initially, didn’t seem super productive. What I didn’t know at the time was… I had said something powerful. I planted a seed. And a new perspective was all that was necessary to help a young girl take back her power.
So here we go…
Early last month a mom contacted me about her 13 year old daughter who was having some body image issues. She would get really upset and cry for hours sometimes when the scale read a couple pounds heavier than she thought it should. Her mood and the family dynamic were often negatively impacted because of it, and sometimes plans even had to be canceled. I told the mom that I didn’t really have any experience (except maybe my own issues, LOL!) in helping kids with body image and that I’m not a therapist, but I’d be happy to talk to her daughter (I’ll call her Sarah) to see if I could help.
We set up an appointment for a 30 minute consult the following week. “Sarah” came to see me, not because she wanted help, but because her mom made her come. She was of average height and weight, and she had relatively healthy eating habits for a 13 year old girl. She wasn’t particularly open in talking about the situation, so I did most of the talking. After about 30 minutes we concluded and I went outside to talk to mom. I told her that “Sarah” didn’t seem open to working with me and I didn’t think mom should push it right now, because I didn’t feel it would be productive and/or worth her investment in coaching. I went on to tell her my hope was that I planted some seeds and maybe”Sarah” would come around and be ready to work with me in the near future. That was about 7 weeks ago and I never heard from mom again. I have thought of “Sarah” and her mom from time to time and hoped things were getting better.
Fast forward to this past Monday. I ran into mom and she had great news to share with me! She told me there was one thing in particular that I told “Sarah” that had a HUGE impact on her. I told her, “The scale is your BULLY. You are allowing a number to control your emotions and ruin your days.” Mom went on to say that she hasn’t gotten on the scale in weeks. She still gets bummed out if she’s overly bloated or if her clothes feel a little tight, but the meltdowns have stopped!
As a Life Coach for Kids, I couldn’t be happier! No, she’s not going to work with me. No, I didn’t make any money for the time I spent talking to “Sarah” and her mom. But what I did do…. I helped a kid be comfortable in her own skin. I helped a kid change her perspective and feel empowered to take control of part of her life. And I helped a mom worry less about her daughter, who she loves to the moon and back.
So… Who or what is your BULLY and how are you going to take your power back?